Tired of trips to crowded theaters full of noisy kids and overpriced food? Had your fill of vapid reality shows on TV? Wondering what to stock your Netflix queue with? Every week, Robert Saucedo’s “It Came From the Video Store” will point you in the direction of a movie that is worth seeing and should be available in a video store near you.
Maybe it’s because I’ve seen Troll 2, a film that defines bad movie-making, but I just didn’t think Troll, the original 1986 film, was that bad. If anything, I thought the film was a clever, if cheesy, fantasy film that’s perfect for children.
With an all-star cast of B-movie proportions that includes Sonny Bono, Anne Lockhart, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Troll is simply a fantasy/comedy/horror flick about a troll attempting to turn an apartment complex into a renaissance faire nut’s wet dream.
Oh, and another thing: Troll features the original Harry Potter.
Yes, that’s right. Years before J.K. Rowling dreamt up her four-eyed boy wizard cash cow, Harry Potter, Jr. was saving his little sister from the evil machinations of an evil troll that had the power to turn Sonny Bono into a giant hairy pickle.
As the movie begins, the Potter family makes a poor choice when choosing what day to move into their new apartment. Before they can even unpack all of their boxes, the littlest Potter, Wendy, has stumbled upon the movie’s namesake.
After kidnapping Wendy and stealing her identity, the troll ninjas his way into the Potter family. When he isn’t going nuts over hamburgers or putting the smack down on his new big brother, Harry Potter, the Troll takes the time to visit all of his new neighbors and transform them into giant pulsating pickles that, when they pop, unleash a mess of foliage and fairies upon the apartment.
Soon enough, the apartment building is full of dancing, singing Muppets. A singing, chirping mushroom puppet is just one of many terrifying creatures that inhabit the world of Troll. Luckily, Harry Potter discovers an ally in his battle to rescue his sister, Eunice St. Clair, a former princess/current witch who has a duty to put a stop to her former boyfriend, the troll.
Yes, the movie is silly and yes there is no shortage of corny, awkward laugh-inducing scenes but there is still something charming about the film. When compared to most of the live-action family movies that get released every year, Troll has a surplus of heart and imagination. There are some pretty decent special effects and, for small children, some real good scares.
While it may not be the Labyrinth, it’s also no Troll 2. Plus, children of all ages can find something to learn from this movie. For example, I discovered that it’s perfectly acceptable for little people to befriend small children because of their height similarity. While you may think it’s creepy that a middle-aged man would become friends with a small girl and invite her into his apartment unaccompanied, everything’s A-OK as long as they are both shorter then four feet.
Plus, apparently all little people harbor a secret dream to become elves and if they are lucky enough to befriend a small girl who is really a troll in disguise, they will have their dreams come true and be transformed into Gelfling-looking Muppets that vaguely resemble an elf version of themselves.
I also learned that Sonny Bono as a swinging bachelor is a lot more frightening to me then any number of trolls, goblins, giant bat-monsters or talking tree stumps. And most importantly, Julia Louis-Dreyfus makes a hot wood nymph.
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Robert Saucedo wishes more movies featured disco monkeys. Visit him on the web at The Carrying On Of A Wayward Son.