Dryvetyme Onlyne

Officials say that President Bush’s last State of the Union Address will address the economy. He’s also going to be talking about changing the way that politicians (i.e. the currently Democratic-controlled Congress) earmarks money in legislation.

2008 is proving to be a year of firsts for President Bush. January saw the President visit the Middle East for the FIRST TIME in his entire Presidency. And now, with this speech, it seems like he will finally be discussing some domestic issues that aren’t related to gay marriage, abortion, or intelligent design/creationism. Hopefully, he will remain on the topic of the economy, an issue of REAL importance to the American people, and won’t drift off into another fear-mongering discourse on the “War on Terror,” federal wiretapping/spying/stripping away our civil liberties, or border control. I wonder what might happen next….

**dreams a bit**

“Hey there America. I’m sorry about that mess in Iraq. It turns our that Saddam guy really didn’t have WMD’s. And in the middle of all that hullaballoo, we lost track of that Osama Bin Laden guy. Ya know — the guy who actually admitted to planning the bombings on September 11th. Yeah. We never got him. Oops. My bad!”

“Hey there America. About this impending recession — that was me too. By dumping lots of money into destroying a country that had nothing to do with September 11, I wasted all of that money that was in our budgetary surplus and instead created a bigger deficit than even Reagan created during the last days of the Cold War. That weak international dollar? Yeah…. I’ll take the blame for that one.”

“Hey there again America. I’m going to go ahead and take some blame for that whole Katrina thing. No, I didn’t cause the hurricane and, no, I might not be responsible for the lack of infrastructure in the city of New Orleans directly (that would be the Mayor of New Orleans and the Governor of Louisiana), but I will say that I didn’t have “Heck-of-a-Job” Brownie & his FEMA folks respond very quickly, nor give them enough funding to adequately help out some of the poorest of my fellow Americans in their time of need. I’m sorry.”

“Hey there America. It’s me again. This whole President thing? It’s not an easy job and I wasn’t really prepared for it. Ya see, when I was working for the oil company, at a job my Daddy got for me, I didn’t really do very much, except lose them some money. And then, when I went to go help run the Texas Rangers baseball team, all I did there was get the city of Arlington to invest in a new stadium that they haven’t even begun to pay off yet. After that, my Daddy helped me get elected to be the Governor of Texas, and there, I had a Lieutenant Governor who really did everything (go read the Texas Constitution!). When that was over (after overseeing the quality of the Texas public school system drop to where it mirrored that of Mississippi), I got elected President of the United States and my Daddy’s old buddies came along to do it all for me (just like the old days) — Dick Cheney was my Vice-President, Rummy was the guy in the 5-sided building with the military fellers, and General Powell talked to everyone from all the other countries so I wouldn’t have to. So, all those mistakes I made? I’m sorry. With such a stellar record running things in my past, did you really think that I would actually do a great job? Ya did? Really? Seriously? Well anyway… See ya later! I’m headed back to the ranch in Crawford. Enjoy who comes next! I wonder why none of the candidates have asked me to come campaign for them….”

**Wakes Up With a Start**

Wow. Wouldn’t THAT be nice to hear?!? Too bad it won’t….